Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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