I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Found your dick twin last night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
