bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize