Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
