My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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