Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
