I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nicole vs. Life
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
