what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just cropdusted the office
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
