it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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