is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
