Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
