it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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