It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
