My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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