Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I looked at my own cervix.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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