Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
