I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
