I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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