His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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