HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
