And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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