you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
