she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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