It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
