you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize