I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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