my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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