careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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