I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Damn victory sex feels great
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize