is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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