So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
