so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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