is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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