Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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