i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
