so that wasnt chicken after all
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I smell like Dick and happiness
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
