I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
