Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
