im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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