she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
