were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
