Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
