it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
