I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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