Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
