hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
