I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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