Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
