The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so let's talk penis.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
