Don't make out with my wife yet
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
