You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize