No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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