ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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