my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
worst night to have a conscience
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You've changed since you got that strap on
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
