In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
