He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
