I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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