note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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