I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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