Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
