don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
